Over the last two years I have submerged myself, and my prolific writing style, into the world of erotic romance writing, books reviews and adult toy reviews. Yes, you heard me correctly, adult toy reviews. I don't shy away from this fact and as you can tell, I thoroughly enjoy every aspect of my career.
Recently, a former high school classmate (and now former friend) contacted me about my career. She wanted to know about my writing, my reviews, everything. So I shared- I mean, honestly, what writer and author isn't ready to share their world.
Conversation went like this:
Her: You do adult toy reviews? *said in a hushed voice*
Me: Yes, I do.
Her: Oh my...really?
Me: Umm, yes. I do.
Her: Why?
Me: Why not?
Her: That's so *whispers* degrading.
Me: It is? For who? You? Because you're not comfortable with your body or your sexuality?
Her: *tsk* No, for you. Don't you want something better for your life?
Me: You seriously did not just say that, did you?
Why would I be embarrassed? Because I self-pleasure? Because I am comfortable with myself and letting other potential customers of the company know about a product before they buy it? Before you spend your hard earned money on electronics, a new high-tech gadget or refrigerator, don't you want to know all of its capabilities and features? I sure as hell do. And trust me, some of these toys are NOT cheap.
From reviewing erotic books and vibrators to writing hot and steamy sex scenes, there isn't one part of my career that I am ashamed of.
Do my parents and family know? Well, yes. They see my book covers displayed all over my home. As for the toy reviews, no need to burst their bubble of the smile plastered on my face all the time. Let them think whatever they want.
And let's not forget every week I go on the radio here in Michigan (yes, Lizzie...my nickname is Dirty Dawne) and discuss relationships and sex. Hell, I was just nominated as the 2011 Xcite Books Sexpert of the Year.
Do my 'true' friends know or judge me? They all know and could care less. Plus it makes for entertaining moments online and in my private facebook group. My reviews of vibrators, dildos and massage oils has actually helped enhance and expand my career.
So to those who feel the need to tell me I am degrading myself, or quite possibly an embarrassment, all I can say is this- pfftt! Don't judge until you've tried it. Maybe the reason you're so uptight about it is because you're jealous, embarrassed or were never taught that sexuality is a good thing.
I say good for you....I'm a huge advocate of pushing boundaries and trying new things. I do sex toy reviews too and love it :)
ReplyDeleteI ignore the *sheltered and prudish* people -- they're missing out -- not me
Wasting your time on people like that!
ReplyDeleteOf all the people I've met this past year, you are one of the most successful. I'm proud of the fact you aren't embarrassed by what you have knowledge in and I wish you the best of luck in your nomination.
ReplyDeleteTo pull a cliche saying, "You go girl!"
Prudish people leading miserable lives and judging others on what they secretly desire to be or do. You know for a fact if she thinks this way about toys, she has never experienced ultimate pleasure. Sad. This is why I nominated you Dawne - your honesty, integrity and you don't take any bullshit! LOL
ReplyDeletePersonally I would enjoy reviewing adult toys. I have no problems discussing sex or anything related. You're doing a wonderful thing Dawne and I back you all the way. Former friend is right let her go on her merry prudish way. Love what you do!
ReplyDeleteI like toys, reviews and the helping, fun hand of my partner. So there!
ReplyDeleteTY all for the support and your words- I am never one to back down from conflict when it's in regards to my career or life. I am adamant about what I do and wouldn't change one aspect of my career to please others...and I sure as heck don't feel the need to hide it.
ReplyDeleteYou are not just an inspiration, but a hero! I live in a town that is dominated by a huge Mormon population, whew they don't want to advertise about sex, but want advertise gambling, drinking, and oh yeah debauchery. I love your article!
ReplyDeleteDawne my friend and sweetie,
ReplyDeleteMaybe she's the one who needs a sex toy. Sounds to me she's a little prudish. My advice to her is get the fuck over it. It's people like you her is the reason I got pregnant at 18 and have to abort because I didn't know anything about really being sexual. I thought having sex meant the man loved you. Pfft.
Maybe if my mother and her generation wasn't a shamed to talk and explain sex to there children I would have never been in a naive situation of thinking when a man had sex with you meant he loved you and wanted to marry you. Or I wouldn't have been molested at five years old. My innocense taken. So Dawne thanks for doing what you do girlfriend.
Teresa K.
It's such a shame that people are so judgmental! As long as you're happy with your life, that's all that matters!
ReplyDeleteDanwe you're such an awesome woman. I agree with everything you wrote. Too many people are too uptight and still Victorian that they probably have not had a good lay all their lives. Keep up the good work.
ReplyDeleteI feel so sorry for your former friend. It must be hard to walk around so frigid all the time!
ReplyDeleteI find it so sad that in this day and age there are still folks walking around afraid to be who they are or explore past the June Cleaver drama. Hurry for you Dawne!
What a stupid thing to say to a friend. Why judge? People should accept their friends. I think some of the people in corporate America, at places like Countrywide Mortgage who took people's homes, they should be embarrassed. Members of Congress, they should be embarrassed. But sex toy reviews...what fun! Lighten up, lady.
ReplyDeleteYou get PAID to review pleasure toys. Why WOULD you want more from life?!?! I say good on you, and I'm envious of your ease with discussing it! Shame on that "friend" for being so naive. Ok, sure, I haven't told *all* of my family that I'm currently wroting an erotica series, but my aunt and sister whom I have told support it, and my sister has read and enjoyed some of it (yet to be published). Those who are worth having in your life support what you do. Those who don't, I say kick 'em to the curb!!
ReplyDeleteGood for you Dawne. That same whispering friend probably wishes she had half the courage your have. She also probably owns a few toys you've reviewed. It's always the ones who protest too much.
ReplyDeleteWhat is to be embarrassed about? Personally I would think that a friends recommendation on what toys work and those that don't would be a good thing. Isn't that what "friends" are supposed to do? Judgements are not! I love your writings and your point of views. Keep going and know that friends, real friends have and keep open minds. To quote from above "YOU GO GIRL!"
ReplyDeleteI don't get paid Phoenix...I do it out of the kindness of my heart- lol
ReplyDeleteBut seriously, I am an affiliate with a few companies and I do this as promotions for them.
TY all for stating your honest opinions and feelings whether for or against my stance
Sometimes, I honestly wonder why people open their mouths. They should just insert foot and save everone the trouble! ;)
ReplyDeleteThanks for the wonderful review for Elemental Seduction - The Dance. I hope that you will enjoy the other three in the series and Dark Moon Harvest when it goes to 2nd print!
ReplyDeleteMcKinzie S. Heart
~Live to write, write to live~